I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
I am never drinking with the goths again.
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
Randomize
