arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
God. I look like such a fucking stand up guy wearing polo shirts. You would totally trust me not to date rape you.
have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
I had a dream that chipotle was out of burritos... Was more like a nightmare.. Gotta go make sure it wasn't real now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
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