weddingsv make me drug and hornr
all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
I was about to share my drunken story from the weekend, but two friends getting married and one finding out she's pregnant makes Saturday in jail look a little suspect.
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
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