The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
And literally 4loko margaritas are callin my name. They're like "Hey girl come on over here I'll make you forget about grades and boys and it'll be a good idea to send everyone 55 snapchats of your cleavage" ok
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
Oh man. I threw up in the first cab. Got kicked out. Roamed somewhere for awhile. Fell asleep in the back if the second cab. Woke up in my underwear on the living room floor with a frozen pizza (thawed) laying next to me
Randomize
