Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
You're the Michael Phelps of my vagina. Most decorated Fuckolympian of all time.
Am I going to be on condom boxes?
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
Randomize
