i can't believe i had my finger in that
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
She showed up at 4:30 in the morning HAMMERED, stripped, demanded sex, then after 4 failed attempts stopped me mid-thrust to tell me she thought we should be fucking for a cause, like animal rights. Process that for a second. She wanted us to be fucking for animal rights.
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
Randomize
