Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
Randomize
