It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
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