I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
Just found an airplane bottle of whiskey and I didn't put it in my coffee. I think I deserve a little recognition this morning.
Ever try to swallow something and have it go up into your nose instead? Yeah, I just sneezed bacon.
Randomize
