Today let's steal peoples pets out of their backyards and leave ransom notes
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
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