theres a dog humping me and im not going to stop it... i really need to get laid.
he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
Randomize
