He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
Randomize
