in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
I just swiped right for a guy on Tinder solely because it looked like he was holding Zoboomafoo
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
Randomize
