apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
I was talking to this girl who was in love with the air force. I was doing decently until I mentioned that the navy actually has more planes. Cockblocked by my knowledge of random trivia again.
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
Thanks so much for having me, I'm really sorry that I almost caused your dog to catch on fire and also for breaking your doorknob
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
Randomize
