We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up with my keys safelty pinned to my thong. It's gonna be a great day.
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
This baby is an asshole
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
For 15 minutes straight, he literally did every accent there was, from Russian to Bostonian. The issue: no one could determine whether he was sober, wasted, or anywhere in between
It's like I'm tryna ride my horse through dennis quaid’s vineyard
That's a sexy sentence
Fun fact: deep throating plus dehydration plus eating a lot of citrus = my throat is fucked. Metaphorically and physically.
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