I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
does your mom think i'm crazy? i just realized i played both the gay dad and the ex-jew card tonight. i blame the wine
Sometimes I forget to take my socks off when I masturbate. This always makes me feel like I'm accidentally in a porn.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just saw a 3 year old try to break out of a daycare by driving a big wheel at full speed into a metal gate. Today is going to be epic.
I bought beer tonight and got 3 coupons with my receipt. Paper towels, laundry detergent, and Advil. I wonder if Stop & Shop predicts the future or just does this with every beer purchase.
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
Randomize