Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
it's like iHOP with fire
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
Some lady just walked up to me in the bar and proclaimed that I looked like a "shady motherfucker." Can't argue with that one.
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
When you wanted to give that guy at McDonalds your number you asked the cashier if you could borrow "a pen or just like a straw with his blood on it". He gave you a pen.
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
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