I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
You admitted to me in secrecy that you want to jerk off a unicorn.
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
This baby is an asshole
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
Woke up this morning with girl, I ask her for some gum. She says "there's a guest toothbrush for the boys in my bathroom". I can't decide whats worse, that she has a shack brush or that I actually used it
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
Randomize
