I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
I don't know. I just have an affinity for nudity when I'm drunk.
How the hell am I supposed to tell that to a group of eight year olds?! It was three in the afternoon for fucks sake!
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
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