shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
The woman at the nail salon waxing my lip just showed me the strip with all the hair on it while smirking. Apparenltly 'you have a stache' can be communicated through a language barrier.
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
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