just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
You made a "martini" bagel. Took a bagel dunked it in vodka and put olives in it
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
Woke up today to the sound of church bells. My first thought was shit the apocalypse, but then I remembered my hook up lives next to a church. This might be a rough day.
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
Randomize
