dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
Randomize
