he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
guys are not supposed to queef...right?
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
Randomize
