No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
Just got a call at work, I have to consent to a random drug and alcohol test by end of business day, if you arranged this it's the best/worst April fools prank ever.
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
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