We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
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the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
Would it be weird if I congratulated the guy who almost broke up my marriage for working on the marriage equality bill? You know, thanks for fighting for the sanctity of marriage. Weird, right?
He was having this drunk emotional breakdown and I was just trying to cheer him up but instead fell and dumped the whole pickle jar on me
It was cool though because he was fine afterwards and somehow I convinced them I did it on purpose...
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
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