i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
woke up in my one night stand's bed and barfed all over her floor. she came back from the bathroom, looked at the vomit, looked at me and said "normally i'd tell you to clean it and get the fuck out, but i remember the sex was good, so i'll let it go." Score.
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
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