Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
Randomize
