Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
Randomize
