Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
Randomize