that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
Sorry my hands just texted you
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
Randomize
