Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
The old woman next to me on the el smells like cupcakes...but she doesn't taste like cupcakes
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
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