So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
Randomize
