It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
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