I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
Mom just texted me to see if it was you who was streaking at the Mariner game... Did you accept yet another $1 bet?
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
Randomize
