remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
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