wanna go halves on a baby?
Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
Paycheck hits in 37 minutes and I literally just emptied my handle of Tito's. If that isn't budgeting like a fucking adult, I don't know what is.
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
Randomize
