Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
Oh you know just explaining sexual consent to a drunk 80 year old man. How is this my life?
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
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