I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
Randomize
