i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
My life has hit rock bottom, I'm watching a movie on lifetime about retarded people falling in love. And I'm jealous of their relationship.
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
That's the 3rd time in 6 months I woke up on the hallway floor using a towel as a blanket, no clue how I got there. At least back when I was still drinking I could blame something other than myself for that kind of shit.
You should go to AA meetings and warn people about the dangers of sobriety.
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
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