That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
After I tried for five minutes to hang my beer from the coat hanger in the bathroom , I have realized I am drunk
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
Randomize
