You work out of a Hotel?
So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
I think this hangover is going to kill me. If it succeeds I would like you to read a dramatic rendition of 'Trapped in the closet' complete with interpretative dance at my funeral.
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
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