my head looks like a cockatoo
mine looks like a lions mane...looks like the entire zoo is going to prom
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
According to Joseph, last night I crawled into bed and told him to pretend I'm his French maid, and then started speaking with a German accent, and referring to his manbits as "ze greatest Weiner schnitzel I'd ever seen". Basically, last night was a roaring success.
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
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