If you text me again I will gut all of your stuffed animals.
My brain says no but my pants say off.
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
Randomize
