I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
Passed out on a playground for a while before trying to break into the elementary school. Erica thought her captain tasted like cat food, so she poured her bottle into her cat's dish and proceeded to eat it like cereal.
You win. Erica always eats cat food.
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
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