Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
Randomize
