i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
we tried to pick out bridesmaid dresses with pockets so we could sneak flasks in with us. what the fuck is the point of a dry wedding?
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
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