Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
I just smelled my beer. It smells like coming home.
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
how do you say “i know we haven’t hung out in a month, but i gave myself an amazing orgasm to your picture the other day” without coming on too strong
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize
