Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
She told me at midnight she would blow me harder than a new years party kazoo
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
Randomize