69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
I found my laptop, credit card, and a bottle of Morgan all on the counter this morning. I'm scared to see what gets delivered to my house this week.
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
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