I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
my nose is crying tears of wow.
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
Randomize
