Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
Bro I can't jerk it to my phone anymore. I feel Siri staring back, and she's real disappointed.
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
Randomize
