She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
Randomize
