We played Rock, Paper, Scissors last night to see who was the least drunk to drive.
The Rock won.
Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Whoa. I woke up to 10 new text messages. All about bacon.
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
life lesson #151: dont let people go batshit crazy and stab you in the knee
i will live by this rule
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
You kidnapped her dog. I don't care that you and the dog are epic bros, that's just not cool. Return him.
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
Randomize