I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
Randomize
