Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
I'm actually kind of scared about the prospect of us living together. We're just going to eat pizza and drink wine before retiring to our rooms with vibrators
Nothing has ever been more true. Ever.
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
Randomize
