Just gargled Fireball to get the fish taco taste out of my mouth. Almost as good as gum.
You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
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