Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
You can't just leave with hair like that
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
He wrote on the bartenders notepad "phone?" So I wrote back "911"
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
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