when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
If my neighbors have super loud sex again tonight, I'm going to leave a ball-gag and roll of duct tape in their mail slot.
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
Randomize
