My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
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