i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
That's how pantless uber rides happen
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
Randomize