$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
For Halloween this year I'm gonna go as Angelina from Jersey Shore. I'm gonna yell "umm HELLO?!," cockblock someone, then leave the party early
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
One day I'm gonna have to send my roommate a "sorry I got high and forgot you were in the room and masturbated next to you" fruit basket
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
Randomize
