He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
Nothing like ripping open the box with your keys on a sat R train and throwing back the morning after pill with some coconut water on my way to work at a fitness studio for free
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