it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
Tim hortons said i dont meet their criteria. What the fuck criteria is that? You put bagels in an oven.
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
Randomize
