Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
so Brent and I ordered you a drink then realized you don't live here. I drank it.
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
Your cat ate my taco.
. . . I don't have a cat?
It was laying in your bed. Now it's hunting for more tacos.
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