More tranny stories later!
So called my VP's house on Sunday drunk and told him that if he didn't hire me for the new position I would skull fuck his wife. They asked me to go home today. Thanks again Vodka
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
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